I’ve got it easy

People pass by without batting an eyelid...

People pass by without batting an eyelid…

As a crossdresser, I have it ridiculously easy.

First of all, I live in a liberal, cosmopolitan city with enough arts events going on that cross-dressing doesn’t faze the locals. The Ladyboys of Bangkok have been visiting every year since the mid-1990s.  Hell, I live in a country where the national dress for men consists of a pleated tartan skirt.

Consequently, it’s been quite straightforward finding myself in social circles where my cross-dressing is welcomed. And a girlfriend who supports/puts up with it is a big help, too. All in all, it’s hard to think of any major problems I’ve encountered…

…so, as a consequence of that, I’ve never felt the need to join any support groups or communities either, but there are a number of other reasons for this. For one thing, my cross-dressing is purely cosmetic and not tied that deeply to my identity. But I’m not really a community-minded person, either. I’m not a fan of being lumped in with a crowd – I like to think I’m a little bit more interesting than someone’s label. If there’s one thing I don’t want to do, it’s conform to someone else’s expectations; Twist can be a bloody-minded contrarian.

“I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
Groucho Marx

Even so, I support and sympathise deeply with trans issues. Two friends of mine are male-to-female and female-to-male trans, another is bi-gender, and another might be described as ‘non-gender-conforming’.

Among my fellow-bloggers living elsewhere around the world, they’ve had to hide this aspect of themselves from workmates or family, or else it has caused relationship problems, or they’re having to go through the long process of transition, or the only support they get is online.

As I said, I’ve got it easy.

Despite advances in our understanding of sex and gender, more frequent reporting of trans issues or people ‘coming out’, and fashion houses starting to showcase skirts and dresses for men, and gender-neutral clothing departments, there are still large numbers of people who refuse to understand what it’s about (a breakdown of the TERFs’ turf wars over womanhood is clearly summarised here).

At worst it leads to death, something that has been lurking at the back of my mind since reports of Leelah Acorn’s suicide at the end of 2014, and brought into ever-sharper focus by the more recent suicide of Zander Mahaffey and the murders of Bri Golec and Kristina Grant Infiniti (making eight trans murders in seven weeks in the USA) in February 2015.

Yet, against this background, I’m no activist. If I talk about these issues at all, I can only do so from a detached, pseudo-academic point of view. I certainly have no interest in advising people how to run their lives, either. I can only speak about these things from my point of view alone, and nobody can make generalisations from it.

What can I possibly bring to the table?

I just want to show how much fun it can be. I can afford not to take myself seriously, and most of the time I won’t. I figure it’s best to show, not tell – which is why I’ve added an ever-increasing gallery to the blog.

This blog will be fun, informative, or (if I’m really on a roll) both of those things together.

As I wrote in the previous blog entry, every cross-dresser has their own story, or their own motivation, or their own challenges to write about. We are all representatives of what it’s like to be cd/TG/TS, and there is no single, ‘correct’ way to behave. I like to think that each of us acting individually might be just as effective at helping gain acceptance for others as a group might be.

12 thoughts on “I’ve got it easy

  1. Kit says:

    Nice! I think it’s perfectly awesome to be so chipper. We need positive imagery — so many of the voices out there can (understandably) seem so serious and negative. It’s good to have someone like you showing us that it’s possible to just have fun and be yourself!

    • Miss Twist says:

      Thanks Kit!

      I think I can get away with being chipper all the time because I don’t have any of the serious or negative things preying on my mind. I’m very conscious of the fact that others aren’t so lucky that way!

  2. Caden Lane says:

    I often worry that I take myself and other points of interest far too seriously. But then when I have an opportunity to dress, I feel all of that lift from me. I still have the same concerns and issue on my mind, but the levity of being able to be me and be comfortable ease those strains.

    I think I identify more female than you; please do not take that as a dig, it is certainly not meant as one. I only mention that because it acknowledges and validates what you alluded to; that essentially those of us that identify more as female or transgender are more emotionally invested. But that certainly does not mean we have to take things as seriously as we often do. Some of us certainly loose the joy of just being us, or more importantly, just being.

    Ever & Always,
    Caden Lane

    • Miss Twist says:

      Cheers Caden!

      If circumstances stop people (or make it incredibly awkward for them) from being themselves, then that *is* a serious issue!

      Really, this blog post is just acknowledging that there are a whole raft of serious issues that I simply don’t have to engage with; as I’ve mentioned in other posts, I don’t identify as female – my experience of cross-dressing is superficial. I can’t speak with any personal authority about the deeper stuff, but I still think about it.

      • Caden Lane says:

        And there is nothing wrong with that t all hon. We are who are, we are in the space that is ours. What we do and where we go is simply defined by us and our needs or wants. Sometimeswe are lucky enough to find a cause or purpose to attach ourselves and our emotions to. In the case of CD/TG, those causes help validate us or give us a reason to continue to do what we do. In your case, you do not seek or need that validation.


  3. myboyfriendiskinky says:

    I’m sooooooo glad for this post!!!!

    I try and get this message across! Sometimes I think people overthink it rather than just -do- it!

    Confidence is something I’ve taken for granted. Always had it. Always been of the ‘screw you, I’ll live my life my way!’ camp. I don’t take it so much for granted these days. Not everyone is in my camp. I want everyone to camp with me!!!

    I think acting individually is the most effective thing you could possibly do! We can’t change the whole world, but we can change ours! We look after our own worlds each and eventually they’ll merge!

    • Miss Twist says:

      Cheers! 🙂

      I think it’s very easy to get stuck thinking that whoever you’re surrounded by constitutes the whole world.

      Some are unfortunate enough to be surrounded by the intolerant; I’m lucky to be surrounded by the open-minded. Both of these things will affect how we face the world. I’m just counting my blessings!

      If people want to join our camp, then fine! – they can take their time; I won’t pressure them!

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