As I write, it’s been about four months since I last ventured out as Twist. I just needed a break – to be me rather than my alter-ego.
For one thing, the previous two years had been incredibly busy as Twist – doing shows, modelling, taking photos, and just socialising generally. I was getting a bit tired. Being Twist is a constant “ta-da!”, where keeping up appearances and being larger than life are pretty much expected (and being a slut for attention, I love living up to those expectations).
Twist is almost purely the result of the extroverted bits of my personality. I wasn’t really leaving any time or that mental head-space I need to be creative, doing arty stuff and writing. The introverted bits of me just weren’t getting a look-in. If I wasn’t actually dressing up, I was thinking about dressing up, and what to wear and how long I’d need to prepare and all the rest of it.
I suppose I was also starting to worry that Twist was taking over slightly. I have more shoes for myself-as-Twist than I do for the rest of the time. (Actually, I’m kinda jealous of Twist’s wardrobe; she’s got much cooler, more stylish stuff than I do… and if this sounds weird, you’ve got an inkling on what colour the sky is in my world.)
The main reason I needed a break was because dressing up and going out as Twist was losing its thrill. I was doing it so often, it wasn’t special; it was almost becoming routine.
I never intended to cross-dress as a lifestyle thing; it’s got more to do with maximising my clothing options when I want to make myself look/feel good when I’m going out. The moment Twist started to seem ordinary was the moment I had to take a break. (Slut for attention, remember?)
So, that’s the downer part of this entry. Now for the up-side.
I’m nowhere near ready to quit dressing up as Twist. It’s just too much fun. I think I’ve had long enough as ‘me’ this year, and I’m feeling the need to do the jazz-hands thing again. Trouble is, I’ve been slobbing out and eating too many carbs. I need to sort out my diet and lose that winter flab. Between improved health and being more outgoing, dressing up as Twist can be an incredibly effective mood-booster. Something else to look forward to this summer!
“Twist-therapy”; just don’t expect psychiatrists to employ this technique any time soon…